Speechless

20.02.2011

Melancholia...

i remember dunno which day,

i read a article...

about the phenomenon...

kao...

13 list i match 8++

kao...

perhaps...

One day really will gila sot sot...

wakakakaka!

dunno why...

this few days i keep on saw my hairs are dropped...

kao...

also dunno why...

no nid few weeks,

sure become botak la...

hahahahaha!

19.02.2011

1 day pass 1 day,

the result gonna come next monday...

abit worry...

i noe myself...

coz really very hard...

i got confident to pass all sub,

but i din hav confident to take a good result...

and after taking result,

still nid to worry whether can enter U or not...

enter U...

quite a big problem...

aiks...

and then,

about the job,

3month contract is goona end,

and just get news from manager,

they just have 1 year contract only...

but she said will let us noe ASAP...

meaning nid to be prepare to find another part time again...

Ouch...

head big...

so fast nid to leave this place...

the 1st long term job i do...

but i nid to get prepare to find 2nd job...

really headbig la...

so many troublesome things come together...

kao...

also dunno still got how long i can hold...

aiks...

tired...

tired make 1 ppl do wrong decision,

moody make 1 ppl easy to angry...

kao!

P/S:

Is Life Like That? Who know......

18.02.2011

Every friday,

usually is very less work to do,

and some more we need to clear the back log by end of this month,

many cases can't spawn out...

and Sharon call me to be a supervisor for those late joiner...

actually i can't believe that i become supervisor lo...

first first very happy,

but after that feel very moody again...

About Zoe & Abii,

dunno why suddenly feel very hate her edi...

when they get the system,

they very eager to ask me to teach them...

after teach them,

they act like big sifu,

teach the rest...

Haha...

I no comment and speechless...

but 1 thing make me more angry is what Zoe's said when i ask them to come to my place,

"We have already learn this edi,

u still got other things can teach meh?"

Kao!

One feeling,

BEH SONG!

i think when Sharon ask me to teach them,

i shouldn't accept the job!

i edi very moody jor la,

still want add oil on fire!

u think that u learn this u edi genius la?

Jiak sai la!

Pui!

And David said they r like us last time,

now i reply u,

nah!

is totally difference la!

last time we learn this we din hav so big TONE!

"We have already learn this edi,

u still got other things can teach meh?"

never appear from our mouth,

we r very modest when our supervisor teach us la!

This ppl is "know little then thought herself is very geng!"

actually i jus learning basic things,

n u learn is very tiny basic thing la!

still say wanna go SG there work,

if u this kind of reply,

supervisor sure fuk kao u gao gao...

zzzZZZ

And about David,

also abit beh song him edi,

keep on lying,

n after lying,

the face still very tebal said i dunno o...

Example,

about the ADD cases i have edi told u once kayathri tell me la,

today u still inform me u ask seng hong n noe clearly jor...

kao!

i said i remember last time when kayathri tell me i got tell u la...

and not this only la,

got many things i tell u edi jor la,

but ur answer: no! i din remember u got tell...

Pui!

Jiak shai!

and then about game,

kao!

edi promise when reach 120lv wait Ng,

u exceed until 124lv for what?

still say wanna help me up lv until i reach 120lv...

kao!

i no nid ur help!

coz if i nid u to help,

u sure play until no limit,

then Ng ler?

zzzZZZ

I'm very moody,

better be clever abit la!

17.02.2011

Every Thursday,

HOD make a morning briefing,

like chatting,

sharing story,

and giving some latest important info.

Today,

quite a special day,

coz this day very long until exceed 2hrs...

1st is about the department of the company,

how the data will flow from 1 department to another...

2nd,

next week (meaning this week),

Auditor from SG will come to the company to audit,

and this auditor very fierce,

so,

special inform us to know what is "do and not do"...

very long speech la...

~ skipped ~

and then continue by HOD's boss - CAP,

another long speech again...

talk about 1 hr for few things,

and keep creating story...

but maybe this is what we call - humor...

And today one of the staff, name Ilya ask for my help,

about how to abort a case,

and give this case make me also blur edi...

and force to call Eric to help...

actually i can handle it,

but i din check it clearly...

coz really no mood...

and the late joiner, Shinley say i looked fierce...

Haha...

I look fierce?

i also dunno...

face that day incident,

not fierce more weird...

14.02.2011

What a fake smile...

But also need to hold the sad mood to enjoy the party...

Hahahaha!

16.02.2011

贫血の男 is stupid,

he is fool, noob and weak!

dai sei! dai sei! dai sei!

always give chance to other ppl,

n finally himself hurt.

no word can describe his weakness...

Pui!

3rd ppl go hell~

Pui!

lose self-respect for 1 girl,

the stupidest in the world~

Pui!

waste money for 1 girl that make him die~

Pui! Pui! Pui!

Noob!!!!!!!!!!

14.02.2011 (A Day That Never 4get)

14.02.2011

Today is a special day,

one is valentine's day,

one is Pei Qi's birthday...

After work,

i went to her house.

A big condo that i passed by everyday without visiting the buildings,

very nice and beautiful buildings,

but built in a death end...

wasted...

That day has a thing that bother me all the day,

about her,

maybe due to my wrong explanation the days be4 that day,

everything had ended.

i could say my fault again...

ALL IS MY FAULT!

On the half way the party was celebrating,

i couldn't hold anymore...

i went out,

went to her house...

And unfortunately,

she was not around...

i very anxious,

and i called her many times...

until a voice came out,

not her voice but his friend...

She was outside...

i had no choice...

dropped a msg to her and went back the party...

Half way back...

very jam...

dunno where got accident and got ambulance cross by...

my phone rang...

i took up my phone and i shocked,

a guy's voice...

"hmm...

r u daryl?

i'm her bf...

can u get lost?

can u dun kacau her?

i'm very bo song ler..."

and i ended the call,

but gave polis saw jor...

too late...

all was too late...

stupid tears came out like water pipe,

and the heartbeat suddenly heavy...

...

...

After that,

i backed to the party,

n i laugh very happily...

like very enjoy the party...

About 11.30pm,

i left...

i felt very very tired...

i stop my car beside the road...

and the sadness that i hold during the party had split out...

Argh!

Hurt!!!!!!!!

sorry Pei Qi,

that night i really can't enjoy...

sorry to her,

coz i not understand her at all...

That day after i sent the gift,

i missed up a chocolate...

and i unblock her and tell her...

and i accidently see...

"Why's like that? We are not good friends? Why you always do not tell me about u?"

i shock...

"i want to tell,

but u never care about me,

what for i tell?"

Valentine's day...

isn't a day to tell the 1 u love about what u feel?

why?......

I prefer become ur lover than ur fren,

if u really unhappy about the decision i made,

then be fren,

but i still will continue to love u,

coz this is what my heart said.

But...

I never thought that u got bf after separated...

im really shocked...

and i feel i will never forgive myself...

i very hate 3rd person...

but now i has become 3rd person!!!!!

I am Living Death now...

and all my self-respect have gone...

I'm failure!!!

i rather die than living...

and until now,

i still can't believe why i still can live until now?

I am suppressed...

Maybe i miss my family and friends,

so i can live until now?

but i just hope that 1 day got 1 car or 1 murderer can kill me...

make me free...

Hahaha...

this day like happen ytd...

perhaps last minutes...

the speech keep on running around my eardrum, my brain...

everyday when i closed my eye,

that night's image fall again...

and a voice whisper in my heart:

"u r failure!

2nd time u have told her still fail!

u r 3rd person!

u will suppress for ur whole life!

u r failure!

coz u hurt her!"

and i keep on speak to myself, strongly:

"i'm 3rd person?

i hate 3rd person and now i'm 3rd person?

why i so stupid until never expect this thing?

i'm late again?

what have i done?

am i wrong again?

i............

..........

....."

Suddenly fail very hate myself...

wan to cut myself...

wan to kill myself...

coz of kindness,

i'm like a fool going around...

coz of kindness,

i missed many chance...

coz of kindness,

i always hurt...

coz of kindness,

i lost my self-respect!

sry...

i cant hold anymore...

thks for ur reply...

i'm tired...

sry...

......................

.............

......

..

this few days passed by very slowly...

everyday i have drunk...

and the taste is bitter and sour...

tiredness make me no want to wake up...

tiredness make me want to rest 4ever...

tiredness make me going to be crazy...

why am i so kind?

i asked myself...

and this question i asked since when i was young...

and now i'm falling into darkness...

and never wake up anymore...

never...

coz 贫血の男 has died...

coz his heart is badly spoiled...

but never regret what he have done for her

~ 贫血の男 's last word ended ~

why i din die?

coz the evil side of me!!

wahahahahahaha!!!!!

The END

~ 12.02.2011 ~

Finally...

I sent it...

Finally...

I finished it...

Finally...

I left it...

And the weather getting bad...

And started to rain...

I heart was tired...

but no tear dropped...

because I had dropped too much...

Since 2009 until now...

And...

Finally I broke out with her...

MSN blocked,

Facebook blocked...

Just I did not know how to delete blog...

This blog created was because of her,

now this blog was closed also because of her...

1 last sentence,

Love You,

Could Not Bear To Say GoodBye

My story END...

Total: RM400

*Mean Sibeh*

08-09.02.2011

~08.02.2011~

Bai Nian Event~

9am in the morning,

i reached chen guan's house,

and there were 7 people only...

and then we went to Te Siang house bai nian,

and very fast until my house...

followed by Andrew, Edward, Henly, and finally Anthony.

Lunch we ate Bak Kut Teh

Dinner we ate KFC (Edward treat^^)

haha...

all gambler liked gambling,

if i not mistaken,

i had won 70rm in that day...

but Edward very lucky, wan about 200rm+

just very remember 1 round was,

i put rm10,

and we played 21point,

that round my hand got 4 card already,

total point was 14,

and i dare to take risk,

and the 5th card is 7!!!!

dragon! 21 points! triple!

and still remember that time anthony asked me:

r u sure u r going to get again?

u gamble rm10 ler!

now i thought back,

hey dai gor,

if i din take,

i no enuf point~~~

XDXD

P/S -

Actually i not enjoy at all...

i forced myself to be happy...

when reach the time nothing to do,

i keep on think of her...

coz i understand...

impossible already...

aiks...

~09.02.2011~

Waaa...

Really dangerous!

On the way from Putra to Segambut,

the wire suddenly broke!

And what i could hear is "Bim! Bam! Booomb!" and also "MA! MA!"

i was shocked!

what happen!?

and then the train stop for several minutes...

i could feel that oxygen getting low!

coz the train i traveled to work usually were crowded with people until the train gonna bomb...

Many people felt hardly to breath.

and a captain came out,

and trying to open the door...

failure!

i thought i would die in the train due to lack of oxygen.

I had nothing left,

coz i knew i lost her,

moody until wanna search for die...

but i remember i still got 1 last mission hadn't completed yet...

i needed to survive until i sent the last gift to her...

then only i could go anytime anywhere...

and fortunately,

2nd time,

captain opened the door...

and we got out to breath the oxygen!

And dammit!

i had been informed that i needed to sit the train back to KL and wait for the next train n get back...

my friends and i were going to walk to the nearest bus stop or find taxi...

Taxi a?

eat shit la!

we very hardly found a taxi with no customer,

but he did not stop and continue drove...

and the Jalan Kuching very hard to find Taxi and Bus stop...

Luckily got 1 nice person offered to drop us in brem mall...

really thks to him,

some more the weather was very bad,

not longer,

a heavy rain dropped...

WUM 9154,

i will never 4get the car no.

and i will bless for the nice person for "rescue" us~

Hope God Bless You!!!!!

05.02.2011

Today i treat my family watch movie

- Shao Lin -

Quite nice,

but really not very suitable for those who is under 18,

coz the story is about war...

"刘德华" who formally was a leader of a troops but finally turn out to be a "sami".

he betray by his brother, "谢霆锋" who rescued by "刘德华".

~ skip ~

What make "刘德华" wake up from a killing machine?

his daughter's death...

which killed during an ambush by "谢霆锋"

got 1 part i really emotion is when his daughter is died,

"刘德华" really turn up to be crazy,

can't believe his daughter die becouse of him...

and finally he join Shao Lin,

chges from fierce to be kind...

~booking ticket through internet banking~

After finishing the movie,

almost 10pm+

suddenly think of her,

i sms her...

and as i thought,

no reply...

aiks...

maybe she is on bed...

and my family and i go for my relative's party...

and i drink wine during the party...

the taste like bitter n sour...

haha...

1am reach home...

open computer...

play little while maple story...

and thinking about the presents...

almost 90% completed...

just lack of materials...

need find 1 day go buy...

Thks for ryan,

u r really right...

i'm afraid...

even in dream...

last week,

again...

a dream...

she left...

ya...

i really afraid we will never be friend anymore...

haha...

"胆小!"